They would have waited a lifetime if necessary.”Seated in the same living room where we had several of the early gatherings, both the business committee as well as the technical team were asking Juliana all sorts of strange questions. The Loyalty program had been changed pretty dramatically. It now reinforced the need to protect the Secret, and to generally want to help each other. While they would always be more respectful of Kristen and myself, someone with the Loyalty program did not view every one of our utterances to be the word of command.Juliana herself seemed composed and willing to answer questions. I didn’t really know her, our coffee line interactions did not give me much of a baseline, but she appeared to be much as I remembered. She didn’t keep staring at me, hoping I would pay attention to her. That’s what stood out for me like a blazing beacon compared to everyone else in the room. Everyone else always kept one eye on me, and always ready to do whatever I. At least, I did for a little while. ‘Honey?’ I turned toward the door from the house as I stood on the rear patio. My mother, dressed in her favorite holiday sweater, emerged with two cups of hot cocoa. I smiled. It was Christmas Day. We had spent the morning opening presents and watching old home movies. The evening before, we had all gone caroling in the neighborhood. Yet as much as I had enjoyed the trip through the nostalgia of my youth, and the comfortable, warm feel of being back home where I was unconditionally loved, I was conscious of the fact that I had changed. I didn’t belong to this life anymore. ‘Hi, Mom.’ She gave me an affectionate smile. ‘I’m worried about you, baby,’ she said. I smiled, took the offered cup of cocoa. ‘I’m okay,’ I said. She stepped up beside me in the chilly air. ‘You know, it’s not like you to keep things to yourself, Alyssa,’ she said. ‘Haven’t we always talked?’ ‘I’m not—’ I began, then stopped. Mom was right. Hell, she always was, right? ‘I met.
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